A red cup; that’s what makes me really angry – or at least it should.   That’s what I’m being told.   Religious bloggers and talking heads are claiming no snowflakes on Starbucks cups equals an anti-religious corporate statement.  Even worse, some claim it’s an “act of war on Christmas”; an intentional attack against “us”.  The red cups are probably all the rage at the company’s stores in the Mega Khimki shopping center in Moscow, Russia and at the Beijing International Airport.

I must be a little slow on the uptake.  I didn’t get the “War on Christmas” thing right away.  I needed a little bit of coaching.  I just kind of thought “Wow!  Those cups are red.  How festive.”  I was obviously deceived and completely missed my opportunity to be offended.  I could’ve done what so many Christians have done; complain to the management while giving a fake name to the barista.  That’s right; a religious alias.  They give the name “Merry Christmas” to the barista when ordering.  This is a ploy intended to trick the barista into yelling out “Merry Christmas” when the customer’s expensive “Hater Spiced Latte” is ready.  Brilliant!  I think I may go to Starbucks and tell them my name is “Jesus Loves You”.  Nah.  I’ll just support my local community business and get my coffee from Two Rivers Artisan Coffee Works in New Castle because they already know Jesus Loves You.

Do you know what happens when you try to hurt Starbucks’ bottom line?  First – you probably don’t hurt it, or won’t for long because most people want cheap, $7 dollar a pound grocery store coffee and then surrender to convenience paying $7 dollars a cup for Starbucks coffee while out shopping.  Second – spurious attacks harm corporate philanthropy.  Harm what?  Corporate philanthropy.  Howard Schultz is a philanthropist and he has invested in our veterans.  After touring Walter Reed Hospital in Washington, DC in 2014, Schultz announced he could ‘no longer be a bystander” and donated $30 million dollars for research into PTSD and traumatic brain injuries.  He also announced Starbucks would hire 10,000 veterans and their family members by 2019.

I’ll come clean here.  I really don’t give a rip what Starbucks does with their cups.  I did rather like the naked mermaid on their cups in the 1970’s, although she may have been responsible for the corruption of my moral integrity.  It’s a good thing Howard Schultz changed the logo when he acquired the company in 1987.  If the internet existed back then, I could have been warned.  I could’ve been part of a cup awareness campaign designed to save the souls of the unsuspecting masses from naked mermaids.  I’m so naïve.  Howard Schultz has really been sneaking one by us all these years with his white cups.

Let’s not lose our heads over this.  Customers of the coffee shops in Iraq have to worry about that.  They’re REALLY at war.    Do you sincerely want to go to war over Christmas? Here’s a real battle plan; stop spending money on useless junk and instead, invest your money, your internet time and yourselves into the lives of those who are in need.  Feed the hungry.  Shelter the homeless.  Befriend the friendless.  Bring hope to the hopeless.  If you’re really worried about cups, find someone holding one out and fill it.  If they ask whose idea all this was, just tell them “Jesus Loves You” – not me with my Starbucks alias – the real Jesus; the one Christmas is all about in the first place.

© 2015 Curt Savage Media